Never Split the Difference is one of the best books I’ve read on negotiation. Better than more theoretical books like Getting to Yes. Written by an FBI hostage negotiator, with tons of experience negotiating in high-stakes situations.
Rational approaches like “Principled Negotiation” (from Getting to Yes) work only in theory. In real life, need to take emotions into account.
No deal is better than a bad deal – “Never split the difference”. Compromise is often a “bad deal”. Even in a kidnapping? Yes. A bad deal in a kidnapping is where someone pays and no one comes out.
If you feel you can’t say “No” then you’ve taken yourself hostage. Once you’re clear on what your bottom line is, you have to be willing to walk away. Never be needy for a deal.
The book has three Big Ideas.
Give your counterpart the illusion of control, but constrain them at the same time.
In a negotiation, listening is the cheapest, yet most effective, concession we can make.
By tapping into the power of framing, loss aversion and prospect theory, you can “bend your opponent’s reality”.
The book ends with some actionable advice and templates to use these three big ideas in negotiations, and an example from a real-life hostage situation.
I’ve seen numerous experiences (personal + anecdotal) of such approaches working in business negotiations as well. Whether salary negotiations with your boss or a high-pressure M&A deal, this stuff WORKS.
I think I read about it in a blog post by James Altucher, back in 2016. Didn’t get much else out of Altucher’s blog, but this book recommendation alone made it worth it.